One Foot In The Grave: Series 5

It's not as though retirement has given Victor Meldrew more leisure time. He just has more opportunity to complain bitterly, to let inconsequential matters get to him, drive his wife Margaret around the bend and to look up new illnesses in this medical dictionary ...

"How much longer do we have to wait? My buttocks are turning into fossilised fuel ..."

1. THE MAN WHO BLEW AWAY - The Meldrew play host to a suicidal stranger from the past, who they met on holiday 17 years ago. Someone has been tampering with Victor's Christmas Crackers, and the Meldrews are decidedly unhappy when their stolen car is finally returned.

2. ONLY A STORY - Mrs. Warboys comes to stay with the Meldrews while her flat dries out after a flood. She tries Margaret's patience - but Victor is entirely unperturbed. Just who and what is responsible for his new outlook on life.

3. THE AFFAIR OF THE HOLLOW LADY - Everyone is stunned when Mrs. Warboys has a wax model of herself made as the prize from a competition. Millicent the local greengrocer takes a fancy to Victor and attempts to claim him from Margaret.

4. REARRANGING THE DUET - The Meldrews suffer a long wait in their solicitor's waiting room. Victor observes the strange habits of the other visitors, fidgets impatiently, and finally attacks a dog with a cake. Margaret remembers the first time they kissed.

5. HOLE IN THE SKY - Margaret and Pippa once more attempt to get Victor and Patrick to bury the hatchet but the result is no less of a disaster than usual. Victor restores a Dutch girl marionette and experiments with some deadly seafood cookery.

6. THE EXTERMINATING ANGEL - Romance is in the air for Mr. Swainee when he finally invites Tania the nurse out for a date. Victor takes a job as a chauffeur but rapidly wipes out his employer's beloved fleet ...